Heaven Help Me,
As I fall apart,
My mind is like a burning house,
With nothing but ashes surviving,
As the walls burn apart,
Jesus Save me,
As my mind fills with pain,
Inhalation of the stuff is clogging my mind,
Abandonment in a happy crowd,
Nobody knowing I'm alone,
I just want to go home : (
Sunday, October 29, 2017
Ok, I have not been around much but I'm gonna do I quick update on why I've been off for awhile.
My mental health has not been all that good and personally, I've been mentally falling apart. I've started seeing a therapist but I'm not sure how much help she will be, as she stimulates so far instead of de-stimulating. My battle has been harder than ver, but I must hide it all from my fam and friends, cause I do not need to worry them. I will be ok though. I promise. Just pray for me, ok? Things are not all that well in me.
Sunday, October 15, 2017
I'm like Maria in the song emotionally... "Maria says she's dying, through the door I hear her crying. Why? I don't know," I don't know if that is the meaning behind the song, but the lyrics durn near describe someone with mental illness. Enjoy. :)
So, I decided to take a quick break from my poetry and writing, cause it is high time I mention the human behind this blog. As noted by y'all who noticed my profile or those in my small but loyal fan base, I am openly bipolar and autistic. Have been since young age. Well since the background I've already shared it, so it's time to go straight to how it is like to be me. I've already shared my depression in my poems so that ain't gonna be discussed. My Mania is the part y'all can't see. It is the other half of Bipolar Disorder and is part of where my creativity is from. Add all that up, and then go into how Autism and bipolar can effect friendships. Many people with autism are quiet, but I'm a open book. I can be complicated cause I have specific things I can talk about as long as you are willing to let me talk about them, and often I may add into a conversation I'm not part of. I still am working on my social skills.... The bipolar is what makes it all hard though.... To get into my life and into it well, you really need a lot of patience, ability to understand my mental coding well enough, ( Which is very hard.) Sometimes check and balances systems need to be set up to help with my moods and how to deal with them well. I will at times need your help calming down when I am disturbed, and you need to understand if I ever seem obsessed with you, I ain't. It just looks that way. I am more than capable of being the best friend you've ever had. If you help me , I will help you in whatever way I can.
Oh , on a second thought, I might be starting up a new blog mini book novelia . Please let me know what you think after I post chapter one. Goodnight guys!