What is happening to me???

My moods are getting worse and worse. I feel like drowning myself. I'm already drowning in tears that feel like blood even though they are only tears. Years of life have been tearing me apart. It has come almost to the point I can barely stand my own body. My mind is always messed up and I can't tell or trust anyone. It is hard to deal with myself these days cause I know I will wake up to the same person every day, myself. I don't know what else to say. Jesus Help Me!