Try to explain...

Try to explain to me why I feel so isolated,

Often even when with my family,

I withdraw when it seems bizarre,

It is not helpful one little bit, is it?

I just wish I knew what was wrong with me,

For me to see things the way I see,

I know God has a pan but it can be just so confusing! 

A quick announcement....

Hey guys! My friend needs cash and prayers for a missions trip to China.

Any Support will be welcome. Here's her Go Fund Me donation page: https://www.gofundme.com/eliz039a-mission-trip

Sorry for the short post.

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Another day went on,

knowing before she knew it the time would come,

To go out and help around,

In another county in another town,

To go and share the love of  God.

Dreams

Dreams went through Mandie’s mind,

Dreams of joy and not more tears,

Ones of love and no more hurt,

A world where her troubles and afflictions were not there,

But she knew in that world she was not there,

So she fought on, fought on,

Just fought on, fought on

There's still hope.

In the roughest of times,

And midst the hardest trials,

There's still hope,

On the darkest of days,

When I feel like I'm insane,

There's still hope,

Because the one who saved me,

Helps keep me afloat.

Lord Help Me, as I move Along. ( Poem.)

Alone and Cold now that Amy was gone, 

Her young child named Mandy,

Cried there alone,

Even as it was Christmas Time,

And no place to call home,

Her mother's talent came along,

So with the singing still with her,

Five year old Mandy started to sing,

To sing a song that was her own:

" Lord help me move along, 

On this well beatten path so worn,

And fight every trial that may come,

Don't let no evil come upon me,

And please be in my heart,

As I keep moving along,

Longing for a place to call my home,

Just like David I am hiding in the wilderness,

Help me O lord to not give in,

And to trust you over all,

As I slowly, ever slowly, move along."

Pushing forward.

Pushing forward ,

It is just so hard .

Why is it that way?

I don’t feel like it is too far.

Keep pushing on y’all,

The finish line is just so near,

And when you make it over ,

Celebrate it with a cookout , a lemonade , or  beer,

It may be crazy going now ,

But you indeed have the power to keep it on,

So keep pushing forward y’all!

Just Another Statistic ( get help when needed.)

when everything turns red,

when it all turns red,

and they can't see the color,

the red from pain,

the red from internal stains,

from years of pain untreated,

cause nobody gave a a durn ,

Just another victim,

of something misunderstood,

Just another statistic ,

of someone too scared to get help,

Right down the street he is right there,

just missing her blue eyes,

longing for her brown hair,

And she was gone,

She was the only person who also struggled,

yet nobody knew much at all,

That was the final hit it took,

for him to also lose control,

but nobody gave a durn

So he took that final jump,

but he was only just a statistic,

a worthless piece of junk..

........... it doesn't matter what disorder someone may have. From Anorexia to Maniac-Depression, Borderline Personality to Gender Dysphoria, and anything in between do not be afraid to reach out and get help before it is too late................ don't be afraid to get help. 

A note to my followers:

For any of you who are followingme and saw in your RSS feed or whatever a post that is no longer existant titled " I am Messed Up Why was I Born?" that was filled with multiple explcitives, I am REALLY sorry! I deleted the post and had went off the deep end last night after having a major depression breakdown. I appolgize for any undesired feed and for the use of heavy swearing in that post if you saw it. Once again, i'm sorry. - Evan W.,  Creator of Amy and Mandy.

How Would I make it without you?

Amy held little Mandy's hand,

As they walked together,

Amy started to sing.

Angel darling angel,

I look in your eyes,

And every night may you smile,

My time left may be small,

Someday I will be gone,

But I love you my little one,

May the Lord protect you ,

From everything I've had to go through,

But I don't know how i'd make it without you,

I swear no matter what I will never leave you,

Sire Stress...

Sire Stress and his Mistress anxiety,

They are trying to take captive of me!

Telling me to come to them,

That they will get things  straight,

When I indeed know,

All they want is me to be in pain,

But I shalt say and will say to they,

God is with me and I won't let you,

I will not let you keep me kidnapped,

I will NOT let you destroy me,

So no Sire Stress,

No Mistress Anxiety,

I will NOT let you take captive me!

Lord thank you.

You know what I am going through,

That it almost is unbearable,

but still, you are there,

even throughout the pain,

When I fall apart,

You help me get up,

And Jesus, you help me fight,

And then make it another day,

Allow me to forgive,

Those who are hurting me,

And thank you for my struggles,

As they hopefully will help me lean more on you,

Thank you Lord

Civil Wars

Internal wars plague my world,

And can interfere with my mind,

The fighting and dishonesty,

And by my part me putting in everything,

To show her that I truly do care bout her,

Sometimes it is hard at times though,

I give it all and would defend her any day,

Yet all she does is push me away ,

I guess that is my sister's game,

You can give it all you have ,

Yet it will never be enough,

I hope with the help of God can get better,

Cause she isn't what she can be,

May God forgive her. 

* sidenote: This poem is kinda personal in a different way for me. It's a ode to my younger sibling

who I try to do my best to believe in her even when she has breakdowns and doesn't understand herself fully. I want the  Civil War will end soon but it may never.