behind a smile/what do I care?

Behind this smile,

i'm broken inside,

nobody hears me cry,

I keep it all inside.

Invisible bleeding,

cuts unseen,

a crazy feeling in my veins,

as I watch my life go off the rails,

of a crazy train,

A wild spirit,

misunderstood,

I feel shot down,

when others frown,

at my failues and weaknesses.

My writings and rhymes,

are my creation,

what do I care,

if you hate em?

if I was normal,

I would  not be me,

so if you don't like that....

You can kiss my rebel ass!!!!

I don't care!

just don't give a damn!!

I want to bleed,

yet I want to succeed!

Life's a dance I am learning as I go,

I have been high ,

and low,

and everything in between.

Behind a smile,

there's so much,

theres my thoughts,

which only God can see.

I just want to be happy!

Vacation To Kill Devil Hills

hi everybody! It seems ages since i've posted! I hope everyone is doing ok. What are you all doing this summer? I'm going to get myself a job, run a lot, and learn how to drive. I will most likely do more but the rest will be made up as it goes. Last wedsday I went to kill devil hills and left on saturday. When we arived at the beach house we were very excited! That night before we arived, we stopped at the Food Lion for hot dogs, condiments, and drinks. After we arived and ate food we went on a evening walk on the beach where i decided to soak myself and walk into waist high water. I was left soaking for the rest of the walk untill I got washed off in the shower. After all this I kicked back in the living room with a glass of lemonade where me and the family hanged out till 11:00 p.m. After then I went to my room and had myself a one person party. I feasted on Apple Pie and a milky drink I concockted. I stayed up till 3:00 a.m. Allthe time i was wishing a girl named Victoria was with me. The beds were so hard. The next morning i woke up late and found nothing to eat in the kitchen. I decided ro wait till lunch time. My family went to the beach while I decided to stay at home. I remembered what had happened the night before and how I had soaked my bed and decided to go across the street to the Food Lion and buy a bag of 11 Goodnites for Girls. I got home and slid one on to test them out, and  ended up using only 5 of the 11 goodnites at night time and the rest I pourposly wet in the daytime. After my family got back we went to this place called The Black Pelican, a bar which used ro be a U.S. Coast Guard station. They specialized in Fish and I had a Baja Mahi or someting like that ,which was a Mexican fish dish that tasted really good. The place had very cute waitresses. Latter that day we went to a place called Lost Treasure Mini Golf. It wasreally fun.The next day we went. the beach and I spent most of my time in the ocean dodging waves. I almost got taken under at one point! Wehadhome cooked meals for lunch and dinner that day. The worst part about the meals we made was the oven atthe house. The oven was 1980s and gave out a dangerous smell of something burning to a char and we had to open the windows to get rid of the smell! Inbetween i spent most of my time wetting diapers in my room. Thatnight we went downtown where we got homemade icecream that was only half thawed!     Once wegot home we packed our bags and got ready to leave the next day. The. Next.  Day was the best. We ate at this place called StackEm High Pancake House where I had the best stack of five chocolate pamcakes ever!! They were delicious! Well, wewent on our way and stopped at a town named edention. The town washistorical and had many historical places. We saw them all.

Things that happened on the first day of Summer break in the past

• Roman Emporer Nero had his throat slit into by his secritary to evade the death sentance of being flogged to death, which was to be passed according to the Roman senate. (68 a.d.)
• The first legal corperation in America , The Harvard Corporation, was established. (1650)
• First Porotastant church in Ohio holds communion.(1772)
• Philidelphia Spelling Book, by John Berry, becomes the  first book to be copyrighted in America. (1790)
• 500 Mormons leave Iowa City, Iowa, The found Salt Like City. They bring ll their belonging in 2 wheeled handcarts.(18560
• Charles Elmer Hires, the first person to comercially sell root beer, sells his first root beer. (1869) 
• a 22 year old housewife named Alice Hyluer Ramsey becomes the first woman to drive across the united states.with 3 female friends who did not know how to drive, she went from Manhattan, New York, to San Fransisco, California. She drove a  Maxwell Automobile.(1909)
• The Donald Duck carton 'The Little Wise hen" was released (1934)
• 19 guests die a Canford Hotel fire in Dubuque, Ohio. (1946)
• King Bhumibol Adulyadgj becomes king of Thiland.  at age 87, he is the longest ruling Monarch in Thailand's  history and is still in reign.(1946)
• Hottest day recorded in the history of Seattle, Washington. (1955)
• the movie "Cleopatra" opens in NY (1963)
• Paul Macarthy's album "RAM" goes gold.(1971)
• Bruce Springsteen signs a record deal with Colombia (1972)
• Cydni Lauper's first album, Time After Times, is released (1984)
• A American named Thomas Southerland is kidnapped and held hostage in Lebanon.(1985)
• British lease on new Hong Cong territories expires (1997)
• Short people are 50% more likley to have a heart attack. They make less money, have a harder time finding a mate, and getting into a  political ofice. (2010)
• 
  

bleeding

I've had enough,

this is too much,

Nobody understands me,

And wants me at all,

I think of the pain I have.

And take out my razor.

I am bleeding,

i'm bleeding everywhere,

it feels so good!

The pain runs through my veins,

Bloodshot eyes,

I look half dead.

I say my last prayer,

And I'm stone cold dead,

Blood running from my chest.

Brantley Gilbert- One Hell Of A Amen

the past.

We just finished The Great Gatsby in English III. The book left me thinking about my own past. She was so pretty. I loved her like crazy. By now I am left alone. I pissed her off and now she's gone.

I constantly think about her. I wish she would come back to me. . My life feels so different without her, My poor heart is broken into pieces. It will take time, but the pain will go away. I miss her so much. Every night she comes back to me. Her memory is stuck in my head. I hope the pain will heal soon.

I have missed you all.

So, I have not blogged in what seems forever. I have joined the Track team and made new friends at schol to replace the broken ones I've messed up. My friendship with Victoria has ended due to me not liking her friends. I have met one of the few black girls that has a pretty body today. At school today in English III my teacher went off topic and started talking about discrimination against Islam and HW islam is a religion of peace. I am know. for my stand agianst islam and being overal political incorrect. I got in trouble for murmuring "dead people" when he was talking about Islam. All the time I had been thinking about the dead Christians in Islamic nations. Somehow it is evil to say essentally that Islam calls for the death of all "infedels" .' Anyways in my class if I say anything that is unpoliticaly correct and is not against the rules You get in truble, but if you break the rules and use profanity and talk dirty about sex in class, that is OK. Goodnight everyone

Randy Houser - Like A Cowboy

I hate football.

She hates it too. Yet she decided I was not worth it and choose football player over me. A football player who is best friends with my arch enemy, who is a coward who depends soley on others and has big powerfull friends who could beat the heck outta me. Because of this, my arch enemy is powerful and you ether become friends with him or he harasses you. Thats how he gained power. By a system of violence. Kinda like the Atezc rullers, you get slaughtered if you don't surrender or you surender and have peace as long as you pay tribute.

Aztec Sacrifical cerimony 

anyways Shes become a tribute in a way.  It is sickening. Yes. If they hurt her somebody's damned. I'll take him on myself and if his big buddies come round all call up mine to back me up. They will back me up. I'll strike the main target cause he is weak. I'll fight him if need be to protect her. This is only if she needs me to save her. As Trace Adkins sings: " You've Got to Whoop a man's ass sometimes" . Anyways, I hope to eventually end the high school Reign Of Terror and it will end under these flags 

Let freedom win !!!

Charles Farley-Backwoods Boys

Josh Thomson-Always be me

                                       This song must be about me. I have not gone out of the way to impress my Christian so Called friends who look down on me my personality my supposedly "evil " country music. They don't get it. I dedicate this song to the teen Pharissees who think my music makes me crazy. They don't like my redneck attitude and oppose me avoid me and think I'm crazy. Oh well. Not a big fan of those who think they are better than me. Those people annoy me. All I have to say is bring it on.

She's dying inside

My friend is dying inside due to high school bullies. I love her so it hurts me. In my mind I hear myself screaming " don't hurt yourself!!" Sick of the hate. I just want everyone to to treat each other fairly! I'm scared. I don't trust the evil school system. The whole mater is based on some hateful demons who torture their victims and beat up The weak. It's not just my friend. It's many more people. Teens around the country are being bullied and/or cyber bullied and in some cases they commit suicide. Nobody seems to care. Sick of hate.

If any of you viewers have to do with haters please don't keep it to yourself that will just make things worse. I've been bullied in the past but that's over now. Tell somebody you trust. Don't harm yourself suicide is not the answer. I attempted suicide once and since then have never tried again.

                                          The percentage of bullying and how much it occurs .

If any of you know somebody who has been bullied, stand up for him/her they need someone by their side. If need be tell her/his parrents. DO NOT tell the school admin though. The school system is run by umtrustworthy people. Just do everything in your power to help the victim. Take a stand against the injustice of the bullying agenda powered by demon hearted kids.