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why...???

my life is a mess. I am falling apart. Overdosing and overeatting are physically destroying me.

music videos I took at the concert I went to last nite

School grades, softball, and peers.

School grades are slowly rising. This is good. I need better grades. I am meeting new chicks and I sit by the best chick in 4th period. I mean, she's so hot. Shes Awesome. She has tallent. Shes Smart. I hand her notes @ lunchtime. speaking of her, I know I've posted this song before, but it  just is so awesome! So far I have met a fellow wild girl. She has a boyfriend, but thats ok. I not gonna intrude her relationship. I wish someone would love me ....  Well I guess i'm crazy. Frankie Ballard says it right when he sings " it's a hellofa life". I'm holding on. My life is crazy, or is it me?? I don't know. The good news is I am writing a book. It's called Helen's War. I hope all my readers and subscribers have a good nite. Oh almost forgot. My peers are awesome. I am meeting the Softball Girls and they are awesome. Ok, not ALL my peers are awesome. Some of them have to be Satan's children! Now I offically say goodnight. : )

emotion.

Emotion is suck a powerful thing, It sweeps through a boy like me. It touches me, makes my mind go whacko. My body aches At it touches my cheeks,
 my heart is in flames,
but I can't escape,
this beautiful emotion,
shes brought on me.

Staind-Believe

Why doesn't someone believe in me?? I guess my parents do but sometimes they even doubt my success. WHY WON'T ANYONE BELIEVE IN ME?????

How it feels to miss someone. Part One

When your tears cover your face,

And her memory haunts you,

This is how it feels to miss someone,

It feels like only a day ago,

We were out by the river,

white water rafting,

the water soaking you and me,

as we swam down Mill Creek,

how you on those stormy nights,

left your home and ran to me,

said you were scared,

now you aren't here.

You were and allways will be my girl,

even though you are not in this world anymore,

your snow white figure, is still with me,

the way you went away, 

you must of had so much pain,

and self hate,

to just end it all,

and fly away,

from that home so small,

they did not want you at all,

you were scared and never told it all,

they overlooked you,

and you couldn't take it anymore,

so I stare here at this angel of stone,

crying yet I know,

you are finally at home. 

.