Hi guys. I hope your November has been great! I did a half marathon in Willimington , NC. It was my first one where I actually ran the whole thing ( no slowing down.) and the first time I did a road race half marathon. It was so fun! My final timing was 2 hours and 20 minutes . My placing was 561st out of 810 finishers. That was ok. My friend from the area did not show up sadly. My best friend, sadly alerted me that for reasons I will not mention , she can't text me anymore . : (
Loneliness has taken over my heart but God helps. Honestly things haven't been too bad for me other that recantly a few major episodes . oh yes , my report paper I had to turn in. The reason I got a B on it was because I made the mistake to not put a title on!!!!
Ok, I have not been around much but I'm gonna do I quick update on why I've been off for awhile.
My mental health has not been all that good and personally, I've been mentally falling apart. I've started seeing a therapist but I'm not sure how much help she will be, as she stimulates so far instead of de-stimulating. My battle has been harder than ver, but I must hide it all from my fam and friends, cause I do not need to worry them. I will be ok though. I promise. Just pray for me, ok? Things are not all that well in me.
I'm like Maria in the song emotionally... "Maria says she's dying, through the door I hear her crying. Why? I don't know," I don't know if that is the meaning behind the song, but the lyrics durn near describe someone with mental illness. Enjoy. :)
So, I decided to take a quick break from my poetry and writing, cause it is high time I mention the human behind this blog. As noted by y'all who noticed my profile or those in my small but loyal fan base, I am openly bipolar and autistic. Have been since young age. Well since the background I've already shared it, so it's time to go straight to how it is like to be me. I've already shared my depression in my poems so that ain't gonna be discussed. My Mania is the part y'all can't see. It is the other half of Bipolar Disorder and is part of where my creativity is from. Add all that up, and then go into how Autism and bipolar can effect friendships. Many people with autism are quiet, but I'm a open book. I can be complicated cause I have specific things I can talk about as long as you are willing to let me talk about them, and often I may add into a conversation I'm not part of. I still am working on my social skills.... The bipolar is what makes it all hard though.... To get into my life and into it well, you really need a lot of patience, ability to understand my mental coding well enough, ( Which is very hard.) Sometimes check and balances systems need to be set up to help with my moods and how to deal with them well. I will at times need your help calming down when I am disturbed, and you need to understand if I ever seem obsessed with you, I ain't. It just looks that way. I am more than capable of being the best friend you've ever had. If you help me , I will help you in whatever way I can.
Oh , on a second thought, I might be starting up a new blog mini book novelia . Please let me know what you think after I post chapter one. Goodnight guys!
Well, it’s high time I talk about the person behind the computer screen. As I have shared, I am a competitive runner and former high school track/XC star. Last week I ran my first ever half marathon! ( yay!) , but I got too sick to finish it , with only 3 miles left out of the 13.1 miles , I collapsed at the final aid station. Here are some of the things I learned.
First mistake I made and the biggest was 3 hour before the race we stopped for greasy Eastern Carolina BBQ. Which would end up having a major bad problem that was to effect the outcome. Ya see, it is NOT a good idea to eat at all before long distance races, especially half marathons it turns out! The race was a night time race and required a head lamp, but unfortunately I failed to turn on the light properly and it was on blink mode, leaving not much light and at least 3 falls, resulting in a bust leg that ended my ability to run fast. Towards the end however, that’s when the BBQ kicked in! In running, your body kinda more quickly digests food…. Also it was the hottest day of the summer as of now. Dehydration, bad food, and a bad leg is what sealed my fate. When I got gatorade at the final aid station, when I tried to drink it, all the contents in my stomach went out of me and my leg hurt too much to continue. The people at the aid station made the call to toss me into one of their fallen runner gators. So I never completed this middle of the night course because of being consider to the point of too out of shape to continue. : (