Tuesday, February 20, 2018

when your burdens seem to hard to bear ( poetry.)

When your burdens seem to hard to bear,

Cast them down to our savior,

Who will help you get through,

If your trials seem to hard to stand,

Cast them to our Savior,

Who will help up stand,

When your heart feels like it is gonna burst,

Share your problems with The Lord.

Monday, February 19, 2018


lifelessness fills my body,

As I lay here alone,

Wishing I wasn't so screwed up,

Wishing people care,

I guess I will get off the floor,

and let healing come,

So I will with God's help,

Live but never overcome,

A life tossed to me,

I thank you for caring,

Despite me being a mistake,

That slowly Jesus is fixing,

So there is life in me,

Thank you very much,

For helping me get up,

and be alive a bit longer,

till Jesus takes me away.

a new perspective on helping....

So today my depression hit max when I broke out crying while talking to a Barista who knows a lot

about me. More than many many people do. I VERY Rarely , like I think this may have been my first

time, broke out crying in public place while talking to someone in public. The crazy thing was her

response was one I never had received before and was like different in a interesting sense .

Often when people have tried to calm me down, they have done so by talking to me.

This time was different. I don't know if it is the response of a woman or not,

but she just sat down by me and comforted me by sitting by my side and saying

nothing because there really was not much to say. It almost felt like she was

looking after me, which was a ok feeling. The thing that was different than

anything before was nobody had ever rubbed my back in a way that seemed

to be being used to make me feel better in a comforting sense.  It was a experience

that was totally different in a good way than anything else. It really showed how

caring a gal can be. In the long run,  I did recover.  For y'all who follow me, what would you do if

you were in the same situation, except with someone else who cares about you? Thoughts?

Thursday, February 15, 2018

failure ( poetry)


He calls our name,

making is feel insane,

He talks to us,

Distorts truth,

And makes me feel like,

you don'y know you.


makes you want to tie a rope to you head,

and knock down the chair,

but with God's help,

you have to get up.


Will you let it rule your life,

Or will you turn to The Light,

And trust him more?

Tuesday, January 30, 2018

My mind ; ( poetry )

sometimes, it is hard to believe, 

That I am me,

sometimes I don't like,

having multiple personalities,

sometimes It would be nice,

If they would just begone,

But they know I am alone,

I hear them tell me now and then,

You are us and we are them,

It is no use fighting us,

Then another voice ,

Calls me by name,

And tells me to keep fighting,

So I shall listen and keep in battle,

and never will my mind destroy me.....

Wednesday, January 24, 2018

Annuals.... (Poetry.)

Like a Annual,

We have one life,

That God gave us,

So are we gonna waste it,

Or go live for Christ?

Unlike Perennials and biannuals,

we only have one chance,

So when wet die,

will God ask us " why"?

Monday, January 15, 2018

Why change makes us stronger: first part of a series I'm working on.

  A 16 year old boy hurts inside as he watches he and hiss family's departure from a tight knit church 

that you had gone to for quite a while. It was all of the sudden and unexpected. All his life he had 

been going to church after church, because of him being a pastor in training's son and a former elder 

and just involved with church. God has lead us many places since then, but my point is that God can 

use change to make us stronger and rely on Him more. 

  Ever since that event God has helped me deal me deal with change and departure better. 

As Christians, we must remember that God changes things to make us stronger, and we need to be 

willing to trust Him when change comes. " Have I not commanded you? Be strong and couragious, 

do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you whereever you go." - Joshua 1:9.

So much changes in our life so let's use it all for God's glory and accept the changes he gives us. As 

the verse above says, the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." 


Saturday, January 6, 2018

struggling spiritually

I might as well be honest... I haven't read my bible since November and am wondering if that and not turning to God when I should the most has been causing things to get worse? I don't know what to say...... I feel like a hypocrite to share the gospel with others and struggle with obvious sin to the outside world, and not know the bible well enough..... I have been lacking motivation for everything under the sun these days ... prayers would be nice.

I know I am imperfect,

That he is here for me,

so why do I reject thee?

My world can fall apart,

and why do I not turn,

To you Lord......

Saturday, December 30, 2017

Darkness Will Not Prevail ( LONG poem)

life feels good as you see everything fade away, 

Nothing seems like a mistake anymore, 

there's beauty in the pain ,  

It makes you smile,  

It turns out you are not insane, 

Nor are you afraid, 

the path to the garden is that way, 

She's wearing a blood soaked dress, 

Satin and white lace, 

The woman smiles your way and says " Hi,", 

You are at my home and I wonder why? 

Don't worry about my mess, 

the red is from self destruction attempts,  

But now I'm better,  

Come in, prince of pain,  

dance with me tonight, 

for the first time in awhile,  

I am actually smiling. " 

A long lost emotion went through me ,  

And I knew not what to say, 

So into her cottage I went, 

and wondered " How does she know I'm the prince of pain?", 

For the first time in years, 

That night we danced to the song of the bluebird,

I felt no shame, 

and asked her for her name, 

" My name is faith, and I am a runaway ,  

From the domains of darkness,  

Where my master kept me in chains, 

Redemption not far away,  

offered from God above, 

who's son came to save us, 

in this world without love, 

now I have escaped,  

the dominion of darkness, 

and have you done so too?" 

"YES!" I cried,  

thinking about what would have been my own doom, 

" The hour will strike midnight and I hear horses from away, 

Grab my sword and get away Prince of Pain, 

The pony I named Sparkle is in the back,  

don't worry about me, 

they are not coming after thee.",  

NO!! I cried,  

as she pushed me out the door, 

5 minutes latter I saw him, Lord of Darkness , 

come after her with his men, 

In all of hell's flame, 

The screams could be heard , 

from her living room,  

as the 2 fought, Sword to sword,  

My mind common sense said go, 

yet emotions said "Stay.", 

From a far distance I saw the beast, 

had put his dagger into her cheast, 

And what was did was done,  

The arrow flew from my longbow, 

and his body feel to the ground, 

submerged In blood,  

I went off on Sparkle,  

Torwards my own kingdom, 

to warn the people of their sins, 

and how they could be forgiven, 

So when Lord Darkness' master Satan came, 

We'd be saved and God would give the strength , 

to fight and die for what we believed in

Romans 8:1-2" therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,
because through Christ Jesus the law of the spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death" 

Thursday, December 28, 2017

Sick of Life!

I am just sick of life! I wish God would take me away in my sleep so I could have a restored mind. Ugh ! I have a ugly body and a messed up mind and am complete trash.

Wednesday, December 27, 2017

1 a.m.

it's 1 am and I want you with me,

every night in my mind you are beside me,

Looking so strong as together we battle the devils that haunt us,

Your smile makes me feel loved,

As I cry on your sholder like a child,

and the next nnight you are doing that on me,

Together heart to heart we fight the disease,

Yet it is just me here alone,

You are gone but not forgotten,

Come back to me,

And we can set eachother free.

I love you baby.

Friday, December 15, 2017

fighting fro Christ and your life

Saints cut sometimes,

cause they hurt too much,

to even be able to cry,

they know it isn't right,

but even they can break,

followers of Christ,

God doesn't change some,

of their problems,

but gives us hope to fight,

So we die for Christ,

And often stops us,

from taking our lives,

which is wrong,

and the effects on others,

can be very strong,

so if you want to fight for Christ,

And not commit suicide,

Don't give up,

Cause God made us,

to not take our lives,

Things may not get better,

but still know fellow Christian,

Jesus is better than that firearm,

and loves you ,

your life is too sacred to go through that noose,

so breathe in life,

not carbon monoxide.