Wednesday, November 18, 2015
As most of y'all who follow me know, I am a teen writer and blogger. I wanted to share my story on how I became who I am. I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and High Functioning Autism when I was in kindergarten. Bipolar disorder is where your emotions essentially go haywire. One second you can be high as a kite and in la la land, while the next you can be pissed off at the whole world. Autism is a developmental disorder that is characterized by being a genius at some basic academic ways and completely the opposite in other cases. For me I am a Social Studies expert but I suck at math. Well anyways, to continue with my story. My dad is a ex church elder and training to be a minister so I come from a Christian background and share the Christian faith. flashback the fall of 2014, my dad has a high role at our church and our minister retires. We are kicked out of the church for good. Sudden changes like that effect me in a negative way, and I still am having a hard time forgiving and forgetting. I don't adjust to change well. Flashback again all the way to 2009. I was in my first relationship with the girl who was in a supposedly perfect family at the church we had went to then. I was first introduced to 2 things: country music and a love for diapers. I heard my first country song on 94.7 WQDR , the local country station and since then have never put it up. I now listen to country and rock music , depending on my moods. Music became a obsession and It still is. People with Autism struggle with being obsessed with things. In 2012 I was self admitted to a suicide prevention center after a crisis between me and a girl and Bipolar depression. It was a nightmare and I swore I would never try to die again. At that time I started to deal with my emotions and pain by using diapers made for little kids who don't know pain. I like to fantasize about me being a 2 year old still in diapers who does not know how painful the world is. Well, in 2013 I transferred from homeschool to a public high school called Eastern Alimance High School, where I became friends with a very pretty cheerleader. It took me months to learn I was acting stalkerish and I had no clue.I had became obsessed over her and it killed our friendship. Still today I have anger issues, but mostly mania and depression, that is visible in class. I am trying harder to learn how to treat a girl, how to talk properly, what is OK and what is not. That's my story of me so far.